Strip Club Addiction in NYC
Strip Club Addiction Counseling
Strip Club Addiction is a sad and lonely disorder, and I have helped clients let go of this expensive and paradoxically isolating behavior. Strip Club Addiction is disruptive to the client’s life, actual responsibilities, and interferes with the client developing a reality based romantic, social, and sexual life.
My clients who have engaged in this behavior have often had other similar commercialized sexual behaviors they needed my help with. In addiction to the leaving this behavior behind, my other goal I typically have have for clients is to have a real world life, not based on deception by others, self deception, or feeling the need to pay for the illusion of a human connection. I have had great success in this.
The Cause of Strip Club Addiction
For many, the first visit to a strip club was a right of passage. Sadly, these places and behaviors are often considered a part of our culture. Though not necessarily right or wrong, engaging in it does not by itself mean sexual addiction is present. The Strip Club Addicts are the regulars, who know the dancers’ “stage names”, and maybe even their actual names. The staff may know the addict, as the addict may be there for hours at a time, sometimes daily. The addicts are there alone. It has become a ritual.
Strip Club Addicts often suffer from social delusions at these clubs. Some addicts successfully succeed in socially connecting with a dancer, the Strip Club Addict believing they are “friends”. Strip Club Addicts give away money, do favors, and do strange chores (such as long drives from state to state to other venues), all this seeking the “love” of a dancer. The addict doesn’t recognize that the dancers don’t really feel for him, and he does not actually respect the dancer. She is an object. The Strip Club addict burns through time, money, and energy in this fake environment. All while actual life is going by: real opportunities go ignored, real obligations unattended to, real people in his life forgotten and suffering.
Men who go too far in using strip clubs eventually show a confusion as to if these women they are paying are their friends, or if these women are simply someone who is performing a task for a fee.
These men often do not see their own need for acknowledgement or affirmation in their seeking the attention of these women. The men involved often, over the long term, spend much more money than they planned to spend, while having nothing to show for this expense in regards to real human connections, friends, and real socialization.
Other consequences of this behavior include partners who are upset by this needless financial expense, partners who are angry and feel in competition with these dancers, and partners who feel emotionally or in a practical way ignored.
The sexual interaction is really a cover for the interpersonal and sexual acceptance the interaction and conversation with the dancers provides.
The G-Strings and bare breasts simply allow the men to pretend, to themselves, that they are not there for emotional needs.
These men’s own internalized programming, as to what men are allowed to do, and what men are programmed as not allowed to do, what men are programmed they can ask for, and what men are programmed they cannot not ask for, in total, has these men get validation through a sexualized method that very cleverly hides that they are getting validation at all.