Serial Affairs & Fake “Affairs” Treatment in NYC
Serial & Fake Affair Counseling
I have helped clients discontinue both serial affairs, as well as the newer and more complicated issue of pseudo or “fake” affairs. Persons suffering from being under the illusion that they are having an affair, (in reality with a fake persona they met online), have some of the most persistent delusions. These delusions are incredibly resistant to any and all corrective information. I have not seen any clinician or non clinician find an easy way to correct these illusions in the client.
These days, cheating is as close as a smartphone, this makes it both easier for affair addicts to cheat, and more difficult for affair addicts to stop. Webcam, email, chat room infidelity have waned a bit, but there are people still doing this. Social Media chats, paid “lonely moms near you” websites, and attractive “people” met online can all blur the line between cheating, being scammed, and pornography addiction.
Fake/Scam Affair treatment
Fake/scam “affairs” are when a con artist plays off an affair addict’s weakness’. The addict believes they’re having an “affair”, but are unknowingly communicating with a scammer who’s only after financial gain. The addict’s resistance to facts, feedback, and help make them easy targets for online cons.
This specific disorder has more resistance than you would imagine. I have seen persons of both genders ignore all reality to preserve the idea this person is “real”, creating poverty for themselves in an effort to keep this “person” in their life.
If these behaviors are online, the partner cheated on experiences at least three losses:
- Being cheated on.
- The loss of time and attention this addiction takes from their relationship with this addict.
- The sinking feeling in the non-addict that they “have to” look out for the addict, as that addict is being scammed by a pretend, “attractive”, “available”, person, and the addict thinks this is all real, and the addict giving time, attention, and often money, to a online fraud and needs the help of the non addict partner, yet another task that non addict has to take on.
One thing that has not changed from the birth of these online behaviors until now, is the amount of time they take from the addict. It is an absolute constant in my decades of this work. The time put into this behavior is deducted from real relationships, family life, work tasks, and other real work obligations and enjoyments.