Seeking Arrangements in NYC
Seeking Arrangements/Sugar Baby/Sugar Daddy :
Although two sober and well adults can enter into whatever financial and sexual agreements they wish, in practice, Sugar Daddy behavior is a financially, as well as emotionally ,dangerous choice.
The sex and money involved in sugaring can make it easy to forget there just a lonely man, and an ambitious young woman.
These deals are often seen by the man as a quick, easy, and simple solution, although it can turn out to be far more complicated and costly than expected.
One way things can get more complicated is many men can develop a savior complex that they are helping this woman’s future, when he is not.
Some men involved in these activities feel they were previously left out of the romantic / sexual world in an earlier part of their life. They might have related insecurities, resentments, or longings about the past that fuel this choice.
Sugaring may be the very emotionally and intellectually confusing practice it is, because it blurs romantic, social, sexual, and financial boundaries.
It is often the sugar daddy who is ignoring all the emotions, and focusing on the physical affection, and not seeing his going further down a rabbit hole of emotional attachment.
There may be a $8,000 a month fee, but many babies push for shopping, vacations, rent bills, and schooling. I have seen men burn through their entire retirement account, thinking some Sugar Baby is their “friend”, only to be broke, lonely, feeling foolish and heartbroken.
These men will be speaking as if they are spending their children’s inheritance, when in fact it will be they will have the financial rude awakening, when the money for this behavior runs out long before their actual life does. They often massive shame when the reality hits.
It is not easy to help these men exit these arrangements, as often there is a part of them that does want to exit but skill in these matters, a non-judgemental approach towards this arrangement, and asking for and understanding of their emotional needs being met, can go a long way to helping them evaluate as to what course of action is in their longer term well being.