There is a massively overused and misused buzzword in our society right now, the label of “Narcissist”, around the issue of relationships, infidelity, and particularly around the issue of male infidelity , and sex addiction, and this noise gets even more desperately loud when written, or posted by therapists.
Particularly therapists who would like a full caseload of hurt, seeking help for their hurt, and will to pay cash out of pocket for their hurt, wives of men who have been unfaithful.
There are a seemingly infinite number of clinicians who make a very busy living labeling their clients spouse or ex-spouse with this condition. It is completely unethical to diagnose someone you have never interviewed. Unethical behavior and clinically unsound practice does not seem to be something these folks are afraid of.
Excessive use of the label 'narcissism' can pose a threat.
Looking at the Instagram accounts of these therapists labeling folks they never met, in their maniacally busy social media marketing effort, making numerous posts on Instagram, if we were a lay person, clinically speaking completely uniformed, we might believe these therapists are stating facts, we might especially buy in if we were in the desperate situation due to the massive emotional pain they are in die to their spouse’s infidelity.
Therapists giving an angry, and empowering message, holding the persona that they are the informed one, helping label someone they never met as “a narcissist”, and that narcissistic issue is clearly on the rise, is complete nonsense, absolute untruth, and not based in any fact.
It is provable as nonsense, provable as a falsehood, provable that it is not in any way real, this being the case even if that falsehood is stated, then stated again in a new post, re-stated, and then the falsehood stated again. As nonsense stated as facts is still nonsense.
All this rubbish, and make believe, is simply to appeal to very emotionally hurt potential clients, very hurt and wanting answers spouses of someone who cheated.
The fact, not the feeling , the fact is, that the prevalence of Narcissistic Personality Disorder remains stable.
Just because a person engages in a selfish act , or a self destructive act, does not mean they have a personality disorder. Accurately diagnosing a person requires careful observation and interview by a trained mental health professional.
No amount of dancing in an Instagram, or TiKTok post, no amount of pointing at empowering text in the social media video, no amount of empowering but clinically completely false gibberish statements made, or any amount of equally embarrassingly incorrect marketing in some other form, is ever going to change the any one of the many actual clinical facts that control, and have always controlled, human behavior, or change an issue, or diagnose an issue.
This loud, patently incorrect, and incredibly amateurish misuse of a clinical condition for the purpose of marketing has persons not see the real clinical issues that power these behaviors.
The fake diagnosis, and social media bombardment with non-facts, when internalized by a client, in the practical sense, shuts down any reasonable reconciliation of the couples relationship, completely prevents reasonable and accurate co-parenting of children should divorce occur, rules out an honest and accurate after the fact examination of who each person actually was, and who they are now, and how to best move forward. The non-facts prevent the facts from being present and seen.
There are therapists who will say what makes the client feel empowered, and makes the client “like” them, and has the client look up to them, rather than the professional do the actual work of telling the client what needs to be said, uncomfortable or not, or simply disagreeing with a client that there is an answer until more actual information is available to make an informed decision to find the answer.
Those clinicians who actually are experts in infidelity are working against a tsunami of misinformation, a massive wave of non-facts. Actual expert clinicians working against misinformation, to have facts be known, do not appear to be winning this social media war against the uninformed.
Actual experts are working against the reality that clients, like all humans in pain, prefer a simple answer to a complicated answer, and like all humans in pain and confusion, would take an incorrect answer now rather than the pain of not having an answer now and just waiting for an accurate answer.
It is the clients, and the public, who suffer from this misinformation tsunami out there on this matter.
For the sake of you and those you love, please try and find the correct answer, which is sometimes and harder to find, rather than a simple, easy, but very much incorrect one which will not help you and those you love.
Certified Sex Offender Treatment Specialist Ohio University
Certified Juvenile Sexual Offender Counselor University of Louisville
Full Clinical Member (National) Association for the Treatment of Sexual Abusers
Full Clinical Member NY Association for the Treatment of Sexual Abusers
Full Clinical Member NJ Association for the Treatment of Sexual Abusers
Master’s Degree, Clinical Social Work, Fordham University
Licensed Psychotherapist NY Lic # R059367-1
Licensed Psychotherapist CT Lic # 10800
Licensed Psychotherapist NJ Lic # 44SC05908100
Licensed Psychotherapist CA Lic # 101416
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