60 E 42nd St, New York, NY 10165

Happy Endings Sexual Behavior in NYC

Sexual Misbehavior Experts

There is a $3 billion-a-year sex industry in this country that relies on women ensnared in a form of modern indentured servitude, and men risking dire personal consequences to engage in this.

In this case it is all for a very poor excuse for a sexual experience on his part, and of course the power of almighty dollar speaks to the human traffickers controlling the women in that situation. In my practice I have seen countless bright, accomplished, otherwise mentally well men, with such better options available to them, getting emotional and sexual needs met through these parlors.

Sex trafficking, and related abuse, is a rampant problem in the United States, and illicit massage parlors very often hide illegal sex trafficking and trade. The modest amount of pleasure derived by these men is not remotely close in value to the many legal, personal, reputational, and professional risks involved in their being a “John” in this activity.

Trustworthy Professionals for your Sex Addiction Treatment

As these places are run by organized crime, massage parlors remain popular targets for law enforcement stings. Choosing to use these places puts an otherwise respectable and law abiding man into a story involving tragic abuse and exploitation, and should he be discovered, public humiliation that he may not have the emotional stomach to bear. I have had concerns of particular clients of mine suiciding over the consequences they brought upon themselves with this activity when it goes to law enforcement and the press. Men with amazing lives, great reputations and no history of legal trouble do not, emotionally speaking, manage it well when they are in the online and print editions of the papers for these choices.

The paradox of such bright and high functioning men able to manage careers, family, money, and life, losing their ability to “self protect” and simply avoid this obviously low payout and very self destructive choice highlights how some powerful, insidious and developed self deception was at work inside that man while he was making these clearly self destructive choices.

In my clinical experience with these behaviors in general, not just massage parlors, over the twenty seven years of specializing in this, I can say with confidence that part of that man that goes out on his own on this type of thing, and has his own very secure mental “container” that all these unacceptable actions, and his travels, and communications to facilitate this behavior stay in, is maybe always, maybe not, some remnant of childhood, where he was emotionally speaking, in his own lane in that childhood.

These massage parlor behaviors, along with the strip club, and sugar daddy behaviors, are in part some emotional self medicating in that they are a maladaptive way of managing stress and or an inaccurate /subjective view that they do not have what they need. This is not to say that their marriage is faulty or they think their marriage is faulty, it is to say that our subjective experience in our life can be very different from what a more rational part of ourselves would give it in a review.

One can simultaneously be “winning” in life, have more than one could ever need, and at the same time have a part of us that thinks we “need” something like this. So while a part of him may very much correctly assess that things are quiet good for him, and are going very well, there can be a subjective , erroneous bit of programming from his childhood suggesting he “needs” something and that programming would have him follow his childhood adaptations and make these arrangement’s alone.

Couple holding hands at sex addiction therapy at superior sex addictionIn regards to how that man’s thoughts and feelings got that way, it is not to say he did not have two parents, or that the parents were substance abusers or mentally ill, or he was beaten, or he was sexually abused, or homeless as a child, or otherwise neglected in some concrete way, but it is to say that some fact or combination of facts about the environment he was in back then as child, forced him, at that time, to make an adaptation. This would be an adaptation where the “soloist” part of him, that we all have, became a bit too developed, and the integrated into the family team player that he then and now is had become just a hair underdeveloped.

A child does not choose their environment, and a child cannot shape their environment, a child has no choice but to shape their style, strategies and methods to their environment they are in. The part of him, that inside of the real, developed, loving, rewarding, functional family system he has today, built a completely independent secret “life” or “lane” as some call it, by him. The problem is he today influenced and carrying a strategy or adaptation he was forced to create way back those many years ago as a child.

For all of us, not just men in the position we have here, it is almost always the case that the adaptations we create in our childhood are never put up for review today by us to see if that adaptation made back then still works well today, in the completely different environment we have now. These adaptations created then, and carried to today, are carried to today, and used today, completely unconsciously.

These unbeknownst to the client self destructive adaptations can be recognized by the client when these adaptations or styles are pointed out, and put in the context of the environments then, how they were needed then, and how they are now not only not useful, they are very self destructive today.

From the outside, to the loved ones of the man in this story, all this this adaptations of “having his own lane” as I call it, may be anywhere from obvious, to barely noticeable, to invisible. I will say in my experience, it is often slightly noticeable by spouses, who notice their own efforts at slightly pulling this man back into the fray of the family system and out of some pull of his outwards towards this soloist in him that he used to get through his childhood, even if it is subjective and not actually alone in the real sense of the word, and it is only a bit of a mental and emotional state in that regard, a slightly isolationist mental style.

If you would like to get free from sexual misbehavior I suggest you see a real clinician not a “coach’ , or a “betrayal specialist”, or some other untrained, unqualified and unlicensed person acting as if they are a clinician, when they are not. In other words, get an actual clinical professional.

Like other sexual misbehaviors, I am very experienced in seeing persons who are acting out with massage parlors, and please feel free to give me a call, as I would love to help you learn how to eliminate the distorted thinking that creates this very self destructive behavior.

My Qualifications

Certified Sex Offender Treatment Specialist Ohio University

Certified Juvenile Sexual Offender Counselor University of Louisville

Full Clinical Member (National) Association for the Treatment of Sexual Abusers

Full Clinical Member NY Association for the Treatment of Sexual Abusers

Full Clinical Member NJ Association for the Treatment of Sexual Abusers

Master’s Degree, Clinical Social Work, Fordham University

Licensed Psychotherapist NY Lic # R059367-1

Licensed Psychotherapist CT Lic # 10800

Licensed Psychotherapist NJ Lic # 44SC05908100

Licensed Psychotherapist CA Lic # 101416

Licensed Psychotherapist Fl Lic #SW19525

Licensed Psychotherapist TX Lic #107691

Licensed Psychotherapist OH Lic #I.2203614

Licensed Psychotherapist UT Lic #12830507-3501

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CONTACT me

I am here to help you. Don’t hesitate to give me a call. No judgment and I make sure that everything remains private.

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SCHEDULE AN APPOINTMENT

I work with all types of schedules to ensure you get the help you need.

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fIRST aPPOINTMENT

During the first appointment, I will go over exactly what you are struggling with and create a lifelong plan to give you the life you deserve.

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Progress you can see

You will be surprised by the progress you can make with my counseling. Years of experience and dedication to help you is our moto.

My Qualifications

Certified Sex Offender Treatment Specialist Ohio University

Certified Juvenile Sexual Offender Counselor University of Louisville

Full Clinical Member (National) Association for the Treatment of Sexual Abusers

Full Clinical Member NY Association for the Treatment of Sexual Abusers

Full Clinical Member NJ Association for the Treatment of Sexual Abusers

Master’s Degree, Clinical Social Work, Fordham University

Licensed Psychotherapist NY Lic # R059367-1

Licensed Psychotherapist CT Lic # 10800

Licensed Psychotherapist NJ Lic # 44SC05908100

Licensed Psychotherapist CA Lic # 101416

Licensed Psychotherapist Fl Lic #SW19525

Licensed Psychotherapist TX Lic #107691

Licensed Psychotherapist OH Lic #I.2203614

Licensed Psychotherapist UT Lic #12830507-3501

locations
NY - NJ - CT - CA - TX
phone
(718) 208-6135
Hours
Mon - Sun 8AM - 10PM
experience
Over 25 Years
telehealth to
New York, New Jersey, Connecticut, Florida, California, Ohio, Utah, Texas

I provide telehealth to New York, California, Texas, New Jersey, Connecticut, Florida, Ohio and Utah, please call me at 718-208-6135 and we can discuss if I am the correct expert for you. I intake clients quickly, most of the time the same week I’m called, sometimes even the same day. No need to settle for the generic therapist in your area; you can see me from anywhere.

Thanks!

James Foley LCSW-R